Aweh Level 4

Aweh Level 4

Awê ma se kinnes!

Shooo.

Ok.

Wow.

Hello Level 4.

This one has hit me much harder than the others.   Having said that, I’ve always been somewhat of a late bloomer.  (Told my first joke at 30).   But really, yesterday’s family meeting just left me feeling somewhere inbetween  “I’m at peace” and “wtf”.  I’ve just been out to buy toilet paper and anti-ageing cream  – essentials mos – and my comic heart sank when I saw empty coffee shops and restaurants.  People’s lives have been truly screwed, with no lube.

It’s in my nature to not linger in a dark corner for too long.  Which is a good thing when you consider what I do for a living.  So I will more than likely come into the light now-now.  I’ll look for the positives.  Because I’m told they’re always there. Let’s see: no crazy traffic with shockingly idiotic drivers who catch up on whatsaap messages while changing lanes; no having to see people who you were never ever in the mood to see even outside of a pandemic; no more standing at a full bar where the barman can see everyone friggin else except you!

I lie.  I miss all of those things.  That’s how horrible this pandemic is.  Delta se ma se pa.

Hang in there.

We were meant to make a special announcement last week, which has been postponed to this week.  I’m not lying I swear.  Nice news coming on Friday.  Kasam.

One Love,

Marc

x

 

Puppy love

Puppy love

It’s Tuesday today and I think that I seriously need to start doing one of these stories every Monday.  Just so we can get into a pattern of sorts.  And so that I can share fresh fabulous details pertaining to my weekend.  Because I actually had a kwaai weekend.  Well one part was really kwaai, and another part was – how shall I put it –  “eventful”.

The great part of my weekend was that I got to experience ABAGUQULI, a non-profit outfit empowering the youth in a seriously real way.  Forty graduates from Elsies River made my heart swell with pride.  The ABAGUQULI training programme essentially gets our young people ready to work and flourish within the much talked about 4th industrial revolution.  These are young people who have moved from “you’re just not good enough”, to “you think you know me but you don’t”.  My words, not theirs.  The doors have been shut to them previously but Aasiyah Adams who heads ABAGUQULI has ensured that the doors of opportunity be opened to them one more time.  They have been given another shot.  And they have grabbed it with eager capable hands.

ABAGUQULI is the website you absolutely have to visit if you are in a position to employ dynamic young people with brand new skills who deserve a chance.

Well that happened on Friday.  Saturday morning was all about zero skills.  I took my dog Hamilton to puppy training class.  His first one.  A total mess.  In the car, I  begged him to please not embarrass me.  (Stopping short of adding “in front of the white people”).  He looked at me with his angelic puppy eyes that said “are you seriously giving this speech – I adore you master, let’s go”.

That dog proceeded to act like he had never seen me in his life before.  Even I eventually started to believe that I had obviously kidnapped him from a petrol station an hour before we got there.  He behaved like a total gangsta.  Zero fucks to give.  Pardon my French, but if you were there you would totally understand.  The trainer eventually goes: “take him for a quick walk shame”.  All I could think was, her over dinner that night to her friends: “you know the comedian with the hair – ja that one with the big mouth – can’t control a puppy to save his life”.

When we got into the car, I looked Hamilton square in the eye and mumbled TSEK.  I’m almost sure I heard TSEK MA WEER.  Stay tuned for what happens in puppy training session 2 on Saturday.

And oh oh OHHHH I have some amazing news to share laterrrr this week.  You’re in for a nostalgic treat.  Check in here on Thursday again kanalla.

One Love,

Marc

X

Unofficial glossary:

Tsek – piss off

Tsek Ma Weer – no, you piss off.

 

Shaleen

Shaleen

 Today is not a lekke day. My fiend Shaleen has passed on.A nation is in mourning.

We have lost an icon who has paved the way for so many of us to express ourselves with pride and honesty.

I will miss her until the sun sets for me too, and probably beyond that. Our last conversation was on her birthday on 7 May. When as usual we laughed until we peed.

She’s going to cause havoc up there if anyone dares ask her for one of her cigarettes.

Rest in Fabulous Peace Shaleen.

XXX

Vicky’s new song

Vicky’s new song

Awê ma se kinnes
It’s been a crazy week.  This week saw the media and radio release of Vicky’s song THIS ISN’T ENOUGH.  I wrote the song after a glass or two.  Or three.  But there were iceblocks involved, so it’s more than likely two glasses.  Disclaimer: The song is not about Anwar and I – ALLES IS ORRAIT BYRRIE HUIS! 🙂
The song does indeed speak to an important issue: the decision as to whether you leave a toxic relationship or not.  Thus far, on social media, in terms of how people have been responding to the song, I’m seeing the word WOW a lot.  I’ve also been seeing the word GOOSEBUMPS.  Which I’ve now learnt is not hyphenated.  (There you go.  Nou wiet jy oek.  You will never leave this site not having learnt something).
On a very  serious note, if you are reading this and you are in a relationship that you know for sure is not good for you, one number you can call 24/7 toll free is lifeline 0800 012 322.
This is a big thank you for the love and support received for the song thus far.  It’s available to purchase on all digital platforms.  Please support our local artists.
OK I need to go now.  Need to buy more candles.  For loadshedding – the bad kind.  I mean seriously, can the person who pushes the loadshedding button at Eskom just go back on sick leave already.
much love – stay lekke – stay safe
Marc
x
Haaaazit!

Haaaazit!

Or Aweh with a “h”.

I don’t know – the spelling debate around that wonderful word will flippin’ continue until after I’m dead. But whichever way you choose to spell it, I say welcome to my brand spanking new website.

(For my international visitors, aweh, pronounced “ah-where”, means hello. It can also mean “I agree”. But let’s not get carried away here. For the purposes of this message, it means hello).

I intend to take you to a happy place everytime you pop in here., My thoughts, my funny stories, my little video clips featuring my characters, will all be posted here. You’ll also be kept up to date re new show details, and what I’ve been getting up to in order to pay the rent at my rented Atlantic Seaboard spot.

So spread the word kanalla.

Everything MARC LOTTERING will officially be found here.

x

Marc Lottering